We love stories.
Every time someone tells a story, we are hooked.
We learn to tell stories. We create courses like Data Storytelling. But the truth is, we don’t need to learn this skill. Our minds are story-making machines. They constantly collect data to create countless stories in our heads.
What we call instinct, a “gut feeling” or a “sixth sense” when evaluating people – distinguishing the “bad” from the “good” – is rooted in the stories we tell ourselves. These stories are built from what we see (their facial expressions, what they dress, how they look, whether they are good-looking or not, and so on), what we hear (their accents, the words they use, how confident they sound, etc.), and most importantly what we FEEL – the like, dislike and the emotions that arise in those first moments of meeting.
The stronger the emotions we feel, the deeper the stories are rooted in our minds. The moment the story is created, it shapes the way we respond to that person.
Unless that person does something dramatically different on a future occasion, everything they do only reinforces the stories created during those first few interactions.
The “bad” person becomes worse. But does the “good” person become better? Maybe … maybe not!
When someone makes us feel good, our expectations of them rise. Unless they ever fail to satisfy all unspoken expectations, their “good” image remains in our perception. And who would succeed in fulfilling all expectations in other people’s heads?
Who suffers from those stories?
People around us? Maybe … maybe not!
But one person who definitely suffers from those unchecked stories is OURSELVES. The more stories we hold onto, the more they control our thoughts, feelings, languages, and actions toward people around us. Over time, stories become beliefs, and views of life, decide our circle of friends, and the path we take, and eventually determine our well-being.
Are you AWARE of HOW your stories are being created – in every single moment?
Thao Pham
ICF Professional Certified Coach
Executive & Corporate Well-being Coach