When Anger comes with a title, a position, or a status, it can seem “powerful”. Its energy, sometimes is like a volcano erupting, spewing layer upon layer of lava; at other times, it is like a storm, sweeping everything in its path. In its presence, there is silence – the silence of Fear, of Resentment.
The energy appears strong. The person with Anger looks powerful. At times, Anger invites Admiration.
When you practice Vipassana meditation – observing bodily sensations with equanimity – whenever you find yourself drifting away by a thought, gently return to observing the sensations.
The technique sounds simple, but when emotions like Anger arise during meditation, it is hard to maintain the observation with equanimity.
You may find your breaths heavy, your mind filled with angry thoughts. There is a strong urge to prepare sharp responses, to take action, and to punish others – even though, through your experience, you know feeling angry only damages your body.
Sometimes, it takes a few meditation sessions or a few days of sitting for Anger to subside. By repeating the practice, eventually, you experience the state where you calmly observe your body’s helplessness in the presence of Anger: the heavy breaths, the heat, the rapid heartbeat, the chest tightness, the headache – all come together to “welcome” Anger.
At that point, you begin to understand that the most effective way to avoid damaging yourself and others is to return to observing the sensations in your body and breathing whenever Anger arises.
So, who or what is stronger? “Who” is the master of the other – the Anger or the person feeling angry?
If the person feeling angry is stronger, why can’t they command the Anger to go away, to avoid Regret once the storm has passed? Why can’t they keep the Anger at the doorstep, to protect their blood pressure, their heart, and their stomach, maintaining a healthy state?
What do you believe about your relationship with Anger?
What makes you welcome and nurture Anger in your daily work and life?
Thao Pham
ICF Professional Certified Coach
Executive & Corporate Well-being Coach